Pet Peeves!

D'ya see dat game! GO BEARS! And you know what bears are? Animals. D'ya know what are also animals? Domesticated animals A.K.A: YOUR PETS.

I know, right?

So all this led me to create another new segment, guys! It's called Pet Peeves, and basically I just write about things my pets do that kinda piss me off.

Here are my TOP 3 from today:

1. I hate it when my dog, Dug, digs divots in the dugout. I HATE it. She's lucky to have me as her owner. Who's knows if she'd even be alive right now had she gone to, say, Mr. Roberts upstairs? I heard all THREE of his iguanas (on the FIRST NIGHT he had them) escaped and killed two kids. So irresponsible, ya know?

THEY'RE ANIMALS: LOVE THEM OR HATE 'EM.

2. You know when your cat or your dog licks your hand? I HATE that! So much! What do I look like? A lollipop? Sicko.

My dog, Buddyweiser, does that ALL DA TIME. I know, right?

3. My cat, Samuel, is great and all, BUT why does he insist on saying all of those hurtful things?